The Ugly Truth About How INTJs Use Their Good Looks to Get What They Want

…Cause you got to use what you got to get just what you want…. is a line from James Brown’s 1971 hit single, “Hot Pants.” Brown exalts the power of using physical attributes as persuasive tools to influence behavior.

It is no secret that we live in a cosmetically driven society. And the closer to our beauty standard, the more desirable we appear.

However, many introverts suggest that physical appearance isn’t a trait idealized by introverts.

These introverts postulate that focusing on appearance is an extroverted trait based on a need for public approval and admiration.

Contrarily, enlightened INTJs realize that good looks are tools in one’s arsenal to get what they want.

And in a winner-take-all society, every advantage you can leverage allows you to have a more abundant quality of life.

Dr. Kjerstin Gruys, an assistant professor of sociology in the College of Liberal Arts at the University of Nevada, Reno, said:

Social science research shows that a person’s physical appearance has a meaningful impact on their life experiences and opportunities….

Dr. Gruys went on to say:

For the most part, attractive people enjoy a lot of perks. For example, a psychological concept called “the halo effect” that has strong ties to beauty; upon a first impression, highly attractive people are presumed by others to have a variety of positive personality traits, such as altruism, stability, and intelligence, compared to less attractive people, as though an invisible “halo” were shining down upon the beautiful….

After making the case about the benefits of being attractive, including perks in the workplace, the dating market, and even the judicial system, Dr. Gruys criticizes this societal standard of success.

She says that at a certain point, individuals should focus on cultivating healthy relationships versus investing in their appearance.

INTJs who aspire to greater control, freedom, and independence want to keep their circle of friends small. Consequently, attractive INTJs enjoy leveraging their physical appearance to control who enters and exits their space.

Cultivating relationships is more manageable when people find you desirable.

Dr. Gruys also suggested that investing in one’s physical appearance has diminishing returns. She said that everyone hits an appearance ceiling eventually.

This premise might be true if individuals were one-dimensional.

As introverts, attractive INTJs are as academically inclined and inwardly focused as their introverted counterparts.

Attractiveness is a means of increasing their market value in the marketplace.  

Models are adaptable.

Fashion models aren’t merely chosen for their beauty. They are selected for their adaptability and ability to transform into an image that can capture the public’s imagination.

As an INTJ, I have witnessed throughout my life the power of physical attractiveness or “Pretty Privilege.”

As a person who has been described as “Above average,” I have struggled during different periods of my life, from acne to weight control, which exacerbated my insecurities. Self-aware INTJs know their foibles even as outsiders view them as flawless.

I learned that it is not beauty or self-confidence; it is beauty AND self-confidence. The more desirable you feel, the more self-confidence you exude.

In the end, good-looking INTJs strive to be the best version of themselves for self-acceptance and the ability to live a higher quality of life.

And more importantly, INTJs are keen on the self-interested motivations of others and use these desires to get what they want.

Good-looking INTJs have been told throughout their lives where they rank in attractiveness and have leveraged it.

Here are some insights about how INTJs leverage their good looks.

Good-looking INTJs use their smile and eyes to gain power.

One of the greatest needs most people have is to be noticed. Good-looking INTJs discriminately lavish attention on designated individuals to gain control.

Attractive INTJs are seen as charitable, stable, and intelligent based on their positive nonverbal cues. Whether buying a discounted plane ticket or shopping at a supermarket, these INTJs will smile and give extended eye contact to persuade. Because people feel “seen” by someone deemed attractive, they are willing to extend any available perks to attractive individuals as a means of appreciation. Dr. Gruys referred to this attraction as “The Halo Effect.”  

Good-looking INTJs use their voice to build trust.

Good-looking INTJs often have beautiful voices that go over well with in-person and telephonic communications. Typically, they are articulate, clear, and melodic in their speech patterns. Because they are keen observers, they were intelligent as children in their awareness of the world. Advanced reading and analytical skills allowed them to form precise words to ideas. Consequently, they appear credible and trustworthy. So, they are believable when they ask for something or share ideas.   

Good-looking INTJs are strategic.

There is no such thing as INTJs who aren’t thoroughly aware of what’s happening inside and outside of them. Good-looking INTJs are well-aware of their impact, and their actions are deliberate. They embrace Shakespeare’s notion that “All the world’s a stage, and we’re mere players….”As strategists, they always think two and three steps ahead to achieve an objective. Out of envy, they may have been bullied as children. But these early experiences turned them into attractive, dynamic machines. And people don’t mind that you are cold when you are attractive. Being mysterious only heightens interest.  

Good-looking INTJs are self-contained.

Being self-contained means never having to ask for anything. Good-looking INTJs have a highly evolved defense mechanism. The less they need people, the more minor disappointments they experience. These INTJs believe that people can be a bane to their existence. That’s why they embrace technology as a means of replacing people. Also, an introverted lifestyle allows INTJs to achieve more goals. Good-looking INTJs view people as conduits to attaining an objective. People are raw materials as valuable as their usefulness in completing a mission. 

Good-looking INTJs are relentless.

Good-looking INTJs tend to be ambitious in creating a world in their image. They share the need for control, freedom, and independence as other INTJs but exhibit a degree of entitlement based on their attractiveness. In their minds, they have everything they need to succeed in a world filled with dominant personalities. They can be quietly ruthless, and most opponents never see them coming. Because they are often mission-oriented, they align with epic historical figures. There is a glorious philosophy, logic, and rationale for everything they do.

In conclusion, good-looking INTJs understand that by dint of parentage, they possess physical traits that align with societal beauty standards. They merely use this advantage to build a life filled with the things that make them happy.

If they weren’t attractive, they would merely use whatever traits they deemed desirable to build on.

They are the ultimate opportunists and existentialists in realizing that the world is theirs to create.

Love them or hate them, but the ugly truth is that INTJs use their good looks to succeed in a cold, competitive world.

—Brenda Fiedler


Gruys, K. (2019, May 1). How does appearance affect our success? Nevada Today. Retrieved from:

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