The Hidden Mystery Behind How Introverts Benefit When Extroverts Can’t Stop Talking

“Negative publicity is better than no publicity at all” has often been said in multiple ways.

The bigger the personality, the longer they want to remain relevant to the public.

It doesn’t matter how extreme the behavior; participants will do the unimaginable to be remembered.

Whatever narrative prominent personalities provide to the public will be the blueprint by which they live.

Dr. Robert Cialdini refers to this idea as the Consistency Principle of Persuasion. This concept suggests that people will make every attempt to live up to what they proclaim publicly.

There are countless examples of when an individual has publicly proclaimed something accurately, only to fight harder when compelling evidence suggests that the notion was always false.

Aligned with the Consistency Principle of Persuasion is the Imposter Syndrome.

According to Psychology Today, people suffering from Imposter Syndrome don’t feel as intelligent, competent, or talented as others think. Their greatest fear is that people will discover them as frauds.

Psychology, Today staff writers, said about imposters:

Instead of acknowledging their capabilities as well as their efforts, they often attribute their accomplishments to external or transient causes, such as luck, good timing, or effort that they cannot regularly expend. Whether in academic achievement or career success, a person can struggle with pressure and personal expectations.

This mode of thinking has proven detrimental to the personal and professional lives of individuals embracing this framework.

Perpetrators may have used slick marketing to leverage mediocre talent and must now manufacture a successful track record based on savvy marketing.

Entertainers often fall into this category.

However, this does not suggest that all entertainers are charlatans.

Audiences have enjoyed the masterful works of Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, and Meryl Streep for half a century. Yet, we know very little about these individuals personally.

They opted to let their craft speak for itself rather than live out loud.

Juxtapose these actors with other entertainers who have a small body of work but attempt to parlay one movie or CD into a perfume and clothing line.

They become the loudest people in the room with the shortest résumé.

In a scene from the movie “American Gangster,” Denzel Washington’s character says, “The loudest person in the room is the weakest person in the room.”

The slang saying, “Don’t hate the player, hate the game,” must be turned on its ear.

A more apt saying would be, “Pity the player who gets played by the game.”

The players are extroverted entertainers who live out loud to garner fame and fortune with limited talent.

They laugh at people who struggle hard and long to add intellectual value to life as agents of progressive change.

Imposters sell and exercise “Escapism” because they lack real value even within the entertainment industry, which should leave audiences with a ” Slice of life, ” as motivational speaker Les Brown would say.

This is where the hidden mystery that benefits introverts happen when extroverts can’t stop talking.

The problem-solving powers of introverts

Have you ever wondered why introverts were bullied so much in elementary and high school?

It’s easy to suggest that insecure bullies merely target the weak.

However, another perspective must be considered. Smartness and intelligence have always been revered in western culture. And either you were academically inclined, or you weren’t.

Those who do not possess academic prowess use other means of determining intelligence, which moves the marker.

And, of course, they use the traits where they most excel nonacademically—street smarts.

The oldest way anti-intellectuals engage listeners about how smart they are is to communicate the practical skills for overcoming life’s minefields.

In other words, they make poor decisions and create stories of how they solved self-created problems.

These individuals can’t stop talking because oratorical skills are valued within many communities.

The louder, longer, and more rhythmic they can speak, the more engaging and intelligent they appear.

Contrarily, introverts are often academically inclined and have a wealth of intellectual know-how that makes life’s journey easier with fewer bumps in the road.

I remember attending my 20th high school class reunion some years ago. I was reluctant to go because there were only a few people I wanted to see. And flying 1800 miles to see people I barely spoke to in high school did not sound like a good investment in time, money, and energy.

Still, I decided to go anyway.

extroverts can't stop talking

At the reunion, I sat at a table listening to classmates’ divorce stories as pictures of their children were passed around.

At that point, I was not married and had no children. I had lived an active life and pursued the dreams I had created in high school.

My classmates got us all caught up on the latest developments.

“Joe and I didn’t work out. He’s moved on and has a new family now.”

“That’s my Meghan. She’s attending the University of Connecticut and is on the dean’s list.”

These stories seemed to go on endlessly, as my eyes became red and glossy from tiredness.

Suddenly, someone said, “So Dan, what have you been up to? Married? Any children?”

I gave some manufactured response like, “No, not yet. Just living vicariously through you all’s experiences.”

I think I mumbled something about having published several books and created online courses for small colleges.”

I was met with a litany of blank stares before someone broke the silence with, “Has anyone seen our class president, Sonya?”

At that point, the table broke into small groups with conversations surrounding personal stories of the last 20 years.

The next day, I reflected on the previous night’s events on the plane trip home.

I returned home from 1800 miles away, where most of my classmates lived only 10 minutes from the class reunion venue.

Most of them had never lived outside our little city of New Haven, Connecticut.

And in high school. We all had big dreams, which many never materialized.

Our class president Sonya became a sales manager at the local Wal-Mart.

Chad, the captain of our football team, became a corrections officer.

Marla, the captain of our cheerleading team, did some modeling for a while before marrying her high school sweetheart, who was a few years older than us.

All these people were our high school celebrities. And not one of them made it out of New Haven.

During our high school years, they never stopped talking about the dreams they would pursue.

At that time, I only listened.

As my plane touched down in Atlanta, those high school experiences in the gym, cafeteria, and hallways came rushing back to me.

I realized that I rarely shared my dreams and aspirations in public. As time elapsed, the success of my publishing company was known in small academic circles. Unless you were in academia, you didn’t know anything about me.

I never had to be concerned with Dr. Cialdini’s Consistency Principle of Persuasion or the Imposter Syndrome.

And the hidden mystery behind how introverts benefit when extroverts can’t stop talking is that introverts rarely set themselves up for failure or are judged by publicly proclaimed predictions.

Extroverts who can’t stop talking place themselves in psychological prisons with life sentences.

I surmise that as life dealt one more blow to the failed dreams of my extroverted classmates, they stopped talking. And people stopped listening.

The secret to my success as a publisher is the power behind the throne, the unseen hand, and sometimes the puppet master.

Our writers create position papers, tackle controversial topics, and encourage readers to think critically.

All to produce positive outcomes.

Listening to my classmates all those years taught me to do more and talk less.

The roar of the crowd has always been a recipe for failure.

In the age of social media, more and more people will fall into the abyss of unrealized expectations.

Creative introverts address serious issues and tackle compelling problems that improve the world.

If unenlightened extroverts stopped talking and started producing, they would discover a more fulfilling life devoid of pretense and failed dreams.

—Daniel Kinney


Consistency (negotiation)(n.d.). Wikipedia. Retrieved from:

Imposter Syndrome (n.d.) Psychology Today. Retrieved from:

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