Why You Should Never Make an Introvert Mad

Many believe introverts bottle up and store their anger inside themselves, never allowing an accurate response to manifest at the time of outrage.

These same individuals believe such actions harm introverts’ mental and physical wellness.

It is unknown that introverts process information internally before presenting it to the world.

Superior thinking skills are an introvert’s superpowers.

And strategic thinking introverts can be your best friend or worst enemy.

Consequently, it would be best if you never make an introvert mad because it’s often the beginning, not the end, of a long, protracted war.

Typically, the hypersensitivity of an introvert is constantly calibrating the energy of others as well as the proper response to an overt act.

Whereas many extroverts may readily “pop off” or overtly express outrage, introverts temper this rage as they process it.

In Quora, a forum question asked, “What are the consequences when an introvert takes revenge?”

An anonymous respondent said:

You’ve no idea what breaks loose when an introvert gets angry. They’re usually calm but NEVER turn on their bad side. One of my friends used to tease an introverted guy in the adjacent room by applying super glue on the pens he used to write with. It was wrong on many levels, but he did not get it.

Everything changed when the introverted guy entered his room early in the morning, applied super glue on the nipples, and placed his palms on them (my friend used to sleep without a shirt). It took him 3 hours to get his hands off his nipples. Never again did he mess with the introverted guy again.

As an introvert, I exaggerate slights and infractions against me because I couldn’t imagine exhibiting such behavior to someone I knew, let alone a stranger.

In the same way, I would not poke a bear in the wilderness.

I assume that any conflict would lead to scorched-earth violence.

I can suggest that if I walk away from a situation as I process it, the more profound the impact of the disrespect, the harsher I want to respond.

introvert anger

I had business meetings at an office building in Downtown Houston, Texas some years ago. Invariably, I had to walk by the security desk in the lobby center.

Because my meetings were usually held at the same time of the day, I would routinely see the same security officer at the lobby desk. He always seemed to be talking loudly and entertaining his colleagues without considering that he was in an office building with corporate employees coming and going.

After a few occasions, he noticed that I glanced in his direction as I passed by. It was more out of disbelief and marvel than anything else. I could only ask myself, “I wonder how he got that way?”

He cursed on the last occasion, saying, “Some people should mind their business.”

Fortunately, I heard someone say, “Calm down, James.”

That was all I needed—discovering his name.

That evening, I wrote a letter to the company’s chief executive officer outlining James’ antics and how they negatively affected its image.

After that last display, I never saw James again.

By observing James’ pattern of behavior and the surrounding details, I determined his weak spots and exploited them.

Did I want to take James’ livelihood away based on his bad behavior?

Yes. All too often, Introverts overlook character flaws that wreak havoc on society.

In a world that revels in living out loud, quiet observation fused with strategic thinking goes a long way in bringing justice into the world.

Self-aware introverts have high emotional intelligence.

The Psychology Today staff qualified the self-awareness of emotionally intelligent people by suggesting that:

The emotionally intelligent are highly conscious of their emotional states, even negative ones—from frustration or sadness to something more subtle. They can identify and understand what they are feeling, and being able to name an emotion helps manage that emotion. Because of this, the emotionally intelligent have high self-confidence and are realistic about themselves.

There is no question that introverts are highly aware and in tune with their emotions due to their highly evolved cognitive abilities.

That is why introverts rarely respond irrationally to infuriating situations. Even during moments of anger, introverts still maintain control.

Marcel Schwantes, Founder of Leadership From The Core, said:

People with emotional intelligence avoid the temptation of reacting with force because they are more interested in making peace than taking someone down. Because they regulate their emotions so well, you won’t find them reacting from an over-inflated and bruised ego with a sarcastic comeback or put down.

Overall, Schwantes accurately suggests that emotionally intelligent people do not react from an over-inflated and bruised ego. Strategic thinking introverts tend to operate peacefully and merely respond to repeated attacks that lead to anger.

However, Schwantes falls short in his assessment by not considering a Machiavellian construct of doing what is best for a situation.

High emotional intelligence does not mean a weak response to mental or physical abuse. Reflecting on the early examples of the introvert who placed super glue on the chest of his tormentor and my sending a letter to the CEO about an unruly security officer are prudent acts based on the conditions.

Proponents of emotional intelligence often take soft approaches to the complex realities of human nature.

A skillful response by introverts is reminiscent of a drone strike rather than hand-to-hand combat. The tormentor never sees the attack coming.

Therefore, you should never make an introvert mad.

In a world often devoid of compassion and fair play, proportionate responses to transgressions are encouraged and mandated.

Introverts will quietly fight for the peace they deserve and desire.

And those who upset this moral imperative do so at their peril.

Be it physically or financially.

—Gerard L. Breslin


Anonymous (2015, July 5). What are the consequences when an introvert takes revenge? Quora. Retrieved from: https://bit.ly/2WCw3xh.

Emotional Intelligence (n.d.). Psychology Today. Retrieved from: https://bit.ly/3mhn914.

Schwantes, M. (n.d.). 5 things people with emotional intelligence do when their buttons are pushed. Inc. Retrieved from: https://bit.ly/2YktNeQ.

Related Posts