What Do Introverts Miss Out on in Life? (And How Can They Gain It)

Is it a far-gone conclusion that the world is dominated by extroverted personalities?

Psychology Today suggested that extroverts make up 50-74 percent of the population.

And if the old saying “The squeaky wheel gets the oil” has any merit, everyone is encouraged to be loquacious whether it’s for problem solving or mere attention-getting.

So, where do introverts fit in?

And what might they miss out on in life by being different?

Fundamentally, introverts miss out on having peace and comfort in their lives, which seems more accessible to extroverts.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Peace as “A state of tranquility or quiet: such as: (a.) freedom from civil disturbance; (b.) a state of security or order within a community provided for by law or custom.”

To get specific, it appears to be far more challenging for hypersensitive personalities like introverts to gain natural peace.

Natural peace can be described as peace that does not require extensive effort for its attainment nor its maintenance.

What Do Introverts Miss Out on in Life

When an introvert goes up into the mountains to “get away” as a form of relaxation, this requires extensive effort.

One has to get into a vehicle, buy groceries, and often drive hundreds of miles to reach mountains to access this form of peace.

Whereas, extroverts merely have to walk out of their doors and begin interacting with others to gain their peace.

For introverts with this loss of peace comes a loss of comfort.

Generally, introverts feel out of place in many situations that might feel normal for extroverts.

In high school, I remember waiting in a section of the school with neighborhood friends for the first bell to ring for classes to start.

Mind you, I have known these guys since fourth grade, and still did not feel comfortable around them. We just did not have the same value system.

I had scholarly aspirations in mind. They didn’t.

They would wrestle each other, talk loudly, and crack jokes with each other regularly.

All along, I would just observe quietly. And they rarely said anything to me.

There was no animosity towards me. I was among them, but not one of them.

The bell would ring and I would go to my honor classes and they would go to their general education classes.

In a recent survey taken within a Facebook introvert group, introverts were asked what they felt they had missed out in life by not being more extroverted.

The overwhelming responses related to missed social events in high school, lost career opportunities, and wasted chances to participate in a once-in-a-lifetime event.

In some instances, respondents said that introversion did not have any impact on these lost opportunities. These introverts merely had different preferences than extroverts.

And that’s the ultimate challenge. Introverts comparing lost opportunities to what extroverts might have chosen.

Just to be clear, if you carry regret for lost opportunities out of fear, apprehension, or insecurity, this challenge should be dealt with by a therapist.

However, if these challenges arise out of comparing your activities to those of extroverts, you should rethink your perspective.

Anecdotally, I can say that adopting the traits of extroverts gave me more opportunities and experiences, but did not bring me more happiness or professional success.

It was not until years later that I discovered that I had not achieved the personal and professional success I sought because I was operating as an extrovert within an introverted body.

I joined Toastmasters International to become a better leader and speaker, participated on nonprofit boards to network with decision-makers, and hosted symposiums as a way of exchanging ideas.

These activities fulfilled my intellectual curiosity, but nothing has brought me more joy than writing a digital book on Amazon Kindle or drafting a position paper on a topic that interests me.

And I can do all of these activities online in the comfort of my home office.

So, where’s the loss?

How are introverts missing out on life when they are the ones creating platforms for intellectual and societal sustainability?

If it was not for the work of Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and Larry Page, introverts would still be at the behest of extroverts.

In today’s society, you can achieve great things solo.

Scalable online businesses for introverts

The love for reading, researching, and writing is a boon for introverts cultivating their skills as applied researchers.

Historically, the challenge for introverts has been the inundation of careers that are advantageous to extroverts.

The Covid-19 pandemic has exposed gaps in society that were extrovert driven.

All too often, corporate training is about getting largely uncooperative employees to work together.

After all, why do we need team-building training, if we are already operating as a team effectively?

The advent of Covid-19 has redefined what team effort means. And it no longer means occupying the same space at the same time, agreeably.

In reality, life rests on trade-offs. For every upside, there is a downside.

And the beauty of enjoying ventures that align with your introverted hardwiring is the ability to scale a business or vocation through technology.

Author Adam Hayes of Investopedia said that, “Scalability, whether it be in a financial context or within a context of business strategy, describes a company’s ability to grow without being hampered by its structure or available resources when faced with increased production.” (para. 3).

In other words, once a structure is created, there are few, if any, limitations for extending its reach for usability, whether it is for one person or one thousand.

Scalability bodes well with the natural propensity of introverts to solve problems that are potentially far-reaching.

In this context, introverts are adding joy and value to life.

Introverts can gain more out of life by creating intellectual property that satisfies their desire to contribute to society through scholarly pursuits.

A few opportunities to begin the process is as follows:

Create online courses. Educational platforms such as Teachable and Thinkific allow introverts to create online courses that solve compelling problems. The ease of development allows introverts to lay out an entire program that can be accessed around the clock to any part of the world.

With education reform often being the topic of discussion, introverts can create curriculum, which can help individuals achieve practical skills to compete in a global economy.

Produce books on Amazon Kindle. Once upon a time, authors were seen as possessing specialized gifts who happened to major in Journalism or American Literature in college. Today, no such requirements exist. With the will to solve compelling problems, introverts can turn a Microsoft Word manuscript into an Amazon Kindle digital book.

Additionally, publishing on Amazon Kindle can establish you as an expert. It has never been easier to author books on a platform with little to no cost.

Start an authority blog. Blogs have evolved from being mere online diaries to problem solving tools that position developers as thought leaders. Original, insightful articles allow introverts the opportunity to quietly create communities where ideas and intellectual curiosity are at the center of all activities.

And those individuals who can tap into the needs of specific audiences can grow profits through ads and online products such as courses and digital books.

Although it seems that extroverts will forever dominate the social landscape, introverts will always have a monopoly within the intellectual sphere of which the world rotates.

In the end, introverts have not missed out on anything in life that actually matters.

They have to work harder to maintain peace and comfort because there isn’t anything free in life.

The good life of extreme sociability is a marketing strategy conjured up by extroverts to sell fantasies.

Entertainment and frivolity never have and never will be the bedrock of any civilization.

If we were all relegated to such a life, would life be worth living?

And more importantly, could we survive?

 —Harold Fitzgerald


Hayes, A. (2020, Nov. 28). Scalability. Investopedia. Retrieved from: https://bit.ly/2ZmldJF.

Introverts + Extroverts (n.d.). Psychology Today. Retrieved from: https://bit.ly/3amidmL.