Let’s face it, in a complex, competitive, and often chaotic world, everyone wants to be self-confident.
We are flooded daily with stories of people going from rags to riches merely because they had the courage and self-confidence to take a risk.
Comedian David Letterman’s traveling from Indiana to California in a rickety truck to become a successful entertainer is what great dreams are made of.
Letterman once said that his truck story only makes sense if you achieve your desired success. Otherwise, it sounds ridiculous.
And indeed, for every imitator who follows Letterman’s lead, most will return to their humble beginnings on a Greyhound bus.
So, what separates the bold and the brash from the insecure and the intimidated?
As an introverted motivational speaker in the 1990s, I can tell you that the things that have always saved me were the fear of failure.
Because I have an extremely black and white personality, scheduling a book signing at a local Barnes and Noble and giving a small talk was my way of ridding myself of the feeling of failure.
If I sold one book that day, I felt like success was just around the corner.
After all, if Tony Robbins and Les Brown could do it, indeed I could.
At least, that is what I told myself.
I have learned that the “Bogeyman” in life is a motivator.
However, this isn’t what I wished for.
Despite all the experts recommending embracing fear, therapy, and medication, one factor isn’t addressed enough.
And that is, the ability to feel powerful by closing the gaps created during childhood is an ongoing process.
If gaps are addressed, pundits make it appear as if the process has an expiration date. I am convinced that the jagged edges created as a child may be slightly smoothened, but they always will have a sharpness.
So, what are the gaps?
The first gap is that being reared by strict disciplinarians impacted my self-confidence. Their heavy-handed mode of childrearing did not make allowances for my specific needs, which called for a softer, more intellectual approach.
The second gap is a feeling that social environments are often disempowering because they are hierarchical, where the strong overpower the weak. I have always been cerebral, and random confrontations are antithetical to my hardwiring.
And the third gap is a faulty generational belief system that isn’t steeped in knowledge, experience, or education.
Households lacking in the disciplines of history, psychology, sociology, and philosophy are flying blindly on potential best practices.
Contrary to popular belief, people do come with a manual. And the humanities layout how humans are wired, their motivations, and how they can operate more efficiently.
Most people merely fail to read the manual.
Although the socialization process has already been completed by the time introverts have become young adults, they must reorganize and rewire their minds to gain the power lost or never developed in childhood.
To counteract these challenges, you should create a boot camp lifestyle. Your life needs to become as organized and disciplined as the U.S. Army.
What is education empowerment?
Educator Dr. Ian O’Byrne in outlining education empowerment suggested that:
Empowerment theory focuses on the participation and collaboration of individuals within an organizing structure to focus their efforts on an identified outcome or common goal.
Dr. O’Byrne referenced the work of researchers Susan P. Robbins, Pranab Chatterjee, and Edward R. Canda as they defined Empowerment as the “process by which individuals and groups gain power, access to resources, and control over their own lives. In doing so, they gain the ability to achieve their highest personal and collective aspirations and goals.”
Using Dr. O’Byrne’s concept as a guiding principle in conjunction with the philosophy behind existentialism suggests that introverts can overcome insecurities by reinventing themselves as soon as their socialization process is faulty.
Self-confidence is a plant that forever needs watering.
It isn’t true that self-confidence is stable and doesn’t need constant and regular nurturing.
Introverts who view life as one giant social experiment know that ideas, concepts, and philosophies must be tested continuously.
Once you believe you have created an immutable law, sometimes it turns out that the precept was a mere hypothesis.
As a self-proclaimed social scientist, you accept that life is about tearing down and rebuilding obsolete paradigms.
The stronger the notion of assuming a social scientist mentality, the greater your self-confidence grows in your knowledge, which supersedes your insecurities.
Self-doubt and second-guessing yourself cease to feed your insecurities because you begin to evaluate the facts and analysis of every conversation and situation.
As soon as you ask, “What are you basing your premise on?” And the other party says, “This is what I believe,” insecurities have been diminished because you now go through life empowered with the tools of weighing one’s credibility based on facts rather than beliefs and opinions.
Introverts who train themselves to fill the gaps in life overcome their insecurities because they have reinvented themselves. And it’s not inauthentic or delusional. It is steeped in facts based on educational frameworks within the humanities.
An intellectual boot camp should consist of three basic frameworks for overcoming insecurities.
Breaking dysfunctional socialization
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) calls for the reframing of your mindset as a means of altering your reality.
Writer M. Farouk Radwan said:
Reframing is the process of changing your perception of a situation in such a way that you see it positively rather than seeing it negatively.
It was called reframing because just like a frame of a picture helps you in seeing the picture the frame you put around the situation lets you see the situation differently.
Supplementally, education empowerment helps you see that your socialization was incomplete in providing the necessary tools to be a well-rounded individual.
An intellectual boot camp allows you to weigh any construct against facts and data consistently.
Embracing existentialism and historical thinkers
I outlined in the article, 5 Best Ways for Becoming a Strategic Thinking Introvert If You’re Not One that:
History allows individuals to live vicariously through the lives of epic thinkers. These mandarins have paved the way for personal enlightenment.
A healthy reading of thinkers such as Alfred Adler, Milton Friedman, Carl Jung, Niccolò Machiavelli, Friedrich Nietzsche, Ayn Rand, and Thomas Sowell provides the basis for developing advanced critical thinking skills.
It takes deep and penetrating reading to pierce the veil of reality and human nature.
Protecting your body and mind
Mark Warner of the American Academy of Advanced Thinking, in his article, Physical Fitness, and Self-Defense for Introverts Expert Interview, said:
I only wanted to be able to protect myself and my loved ones. Self-defense techniques don’t take years of training and can be used as soon as possible.
I began practicing with everyday tools and objects (cell phones, keys, pencils, etc.) coupled with the basic routines I had learned in karate school and kept my focus on attacking the soft targets on the human body (eyes, nose, throat, and groin). This basic routine increased my confidence, although I’m not too fond of the idea of conflict.
The moment introverts determine that they don’t like the outcomes and results of their life, that’s the moment everything can change.
Insecurity is learned behavior and can be counteracted with an intellectual boot camp that builds self-confidence.
We all have gaps that must be filled to be productive and prosperous.
Start your journey today.
—George McKinsey
References
O’Byrne, I. (2018, April 11). What is “empowerment” in education? Dr. Ian O’Byrne. Retrieved from: https://bit.ly/3EMX55g.
Radwan, M.F. (n.d.). Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), Reframing. Know Thyself. Retrieved from: https://bit.ly/3JAL2eM.